What’s its like being a single dad: Things no one ever talks about

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Being parents is hard work. Once you have a child it’s a whole new ball game. No matter how successful you are at work, this is one area where you will have to learn and learn and make a zillion mistakes and still keep learning and perhaps despite all efforts you cannot master the art of parenting!

Still there is 2 of you, trying to figure it out, set boundaries, discipline, rules etc. but what happens if you are left to your own devices to raise your child?

The world sympathizes with the mother. Its society’s paradigm of the “ideal mother”. She is all sacrificing and dedicated to her children. what about the dads? The fathers who are raising kids on their own?I know a father who is raising his daughters and I personally think he is doing a fabulous job than some of the mothers nowadays who ensure that their personal lives don’t take a backseat. Then why are we as a society so judgmental and quick to assume all sorts of things about a father.Single dad challenges are different than a single mom. A mother gets a lot of sympathy from society and family.

A dad’s parenting success hinges on having a reliable support system and many times that is missing. Especially in India the society and courts are biased towards the women so even if the women are the one at fault, the man still gets blamed. There are hardly any support groups for men to reach out to and they constantly have to fight a battle to prove themselves.

Every aspect of their parenting is scrutinized with a fine tooth comb. If they let their kids watch tv as they are too tired, or giving the child junk food or on weekends if they just laze and don’t get the kids dressed in time they are scorned upon. Maybe we should cut them some slack!  My friend once told me how exhausting it is to just try and prove that he’s a good dad and he’s trying his best.

Single parenting does not come naturally. It’s something that is tedious and taxing and also rewarding in many ways.

I am hopeful for a society that will be more accepting and supportive of such amazing dads and give them respect for defying all norms and choosing to nurture and support and raise their children to be balanced, secure and loved.

It’s a fulfilling journey, and you learn to be grounded, have patience and discover your own personal strengths in the process of raising your children.

As my friend summed it up, “I would never trade it for anything in the world, raising my daughter is the best thing to have happened to me”

Need we say more?

 

 

 

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